Buffoon

Here's another word I like.  Had my parents named me "Buffoon" instead of "Tunket" (later changed to "Lucas"), I believe I'd've been okay with that.  I'm sure it would have closed some doors, but others would have been opened as well, don't you think?

It's Friday.  My weekly meeting was just cancelled.  I've had 6 coffees today and I don't really want to go to school today but I have a feeling it'll be a good day regardless.  I need someone to take a picture of me, though.  I've been asked to submit a couple pictures to a teacher's recruitment company and they'd like a "professional" picture (so me tucking my fruit behind my thighs is almost out of the question) and a picture of me teaching (would they accept me having the children singing a lethargic rendition of some 4 Non Blondes?).  I have neither.  Were I still in Facebook, there'd be a trove of 'em. But I aint, so there aint.  No matter, boy.  No matter.

Tomorrow I'm'a go to Seoul.  I'll go there a boy, but come back a man.  More on that later.  Actually, I may never mention it again.

Writing songs is tough, man.  You gotta make sure it's all true or heartfelt and ideally you're a better guitar player than I am.  I need a runnin' partner.  A chord creator.  A merry maker.  A dream delver.  A panty dropper.  A rubber baby buggy bumper.  A real chocolate thunder flyin', robazine cryin', teeth shakin', glass breakin', rump roastin', bun toastin', wham-bam glass breakin' jammer.  You know of any?

I'm done with my current contract in 3 months.  Then it's whatever the next part of my life is.  I hope it's still in Asia.  China?  Korea?  I dunno, mang.  I just don't know.

I made potatoes today.  Not because I especially wanted them.  On the contrary, I was quite turned off by the idea.  But because they-along with my ketchup and expired tofu-were the only edible items in my refrigerator.  I have been a negligent grocery getter this month.  But I am my destiny maker.  I can do whatever I want.  And not until I take in a puppy, an orphan, a Betty or a King-King will I owe anyone else any of my food.  I'm usually happy to share, but it'll be on my terms, not theirs!  You got me?  You feel me?

6 coffees, Yo.

Go getcher gristle, Yanks.

-LS^2

Mistress M'soon & Romeo.

ChillBot 5000

Did you know this is

how I be livin'?

If we've learned one thing about

Muhammad Ali today...

Hakuna Matata, Mr. Mermaid.

The aforementioned rendition...

Tupac Shakur

Forgive however short and ill-worded this might be, but this has been on my sleepless, wayward, funked up and spastic mind lately:

Tupac was an incredible human being.

I remember being at Mallams' place the day we found out he died.  Forgive me, but I remember people cheering.  Honest to God, people cheered.  I was unfamiliar with anything about the world at that time as were all the surrounding folk, but I'll never forget that moment.

I will never reach a point where I underatand how imortant he was to so many people and what he meant to the world.  Not only as an artist or an activist or a thug or a menace, but just as an intelligent human being who-like everyone-came off misunderstood more than one would hope.  And on one hand, I praise him.  On the other, I may be totally off.  I know he had his troubles with the law and with  the media and with other human beings and I'm sure he did his lot of wrong, but so did Kurt Cobain.  Or John Lennon.  Or Lou Diamond Phillips.  The people that we hold up as statues of our ideals also fucked things up.  But so do I.  And so do you.  And so does everyone else.  But if you're waiting for a flawless hero, well I tell you, Bro, you better be patient.

Anyway, that's this.  Also, Korea.

Check Yo'Self,

-LS^2

Old Gray Mare

She aint what she used to be.

For Cowan, Joe-A and all the Simpsons fans.

Namanasty.

-LS^2

Just a Few Goods

I really like the word "lorelei."  If I find a girl with this name, I will make her mine.  I used to think the same thing about "Sonya," but you photocopy a girl's personal check and call information for her phone number to invite her to a New Year's Eve party one time and all of a sudden life takes the wind out yo' sails.

I also like "calico."  In 3rd grade, I loved the word "skillet" and would often substitute more boring words in books with this hilarious swap.

In kindergarten, I made up a name for myself.  An "army" name.  It had to be awesome, threatening, fun to write and totally made up.  And that name?  "Random."  I made up the word "random" before I knew that someone else had done the same millions of years earlier.  Isn't that...shit, what's the word?

Would you move to China for very little money and shaky job security?  I don't think I would either.

My pens arrived in the mail on Monday, so you can call your therapist and tell her that you're okay now.  Go ahead.  It's important.  Dr. Natvig is waiting.  Go.

Come to our open mic night June 22nd or die alone.  I almost wrote "dye alone" which actually sounds like a fun alternative to an open mic night.

If I take the day off, d'you wanna come over?

YES

NO

MAYBE

(circle one)

-LS^2

My Brother's Keeper
by Dan LuVisi

"Well here’s the story.  I imagined Bert as a Marine who left his little brother behind for the Vietnam war.  Over the years, Ernie started to turn into a junkie without his brother’s guidance, falling into the wrong crowd and dealing/using with the wrong people–thus making some very bad mistakes.  Until Bert returned, leaving one war, only to fight another for his brother.  Oh man, Ernie. What a psycho."

Like Will Smith Would

Contract negotiations.  Gotta love it.

That's where I am right now: on the fumes of one contract, contemplating where to fill up next.  Do I stick with this ol' petrol station?  Dart away into an unknown provider?  Fly back to America and use the Amoco Pep Stop in Mt. Pleasant, IA?  Has my analogy...run dry?

Goodness godly.  When Mrs. Moore-my 12th grade English teacher-told us upon graduation that it was okay if we didn't know what we wanted to do with our lives right out of high school, I just took that advice and ran with it.  Still have it, in fact.  It's got shelf-life like a Mickey D's Jurassic Double Chee.  Still as wholesome and luscious as it was in 2000.  Why am I talking like this?

Because I can.

I won a Best Actor Award in the Pohang 10-minute Theatre Festival last weekend for my monologue entitled Last Call.  I am a winner.

I grow tired of these typings.  I leave you now with pictures.

Make some decisions for me, will ya Dear Reader?

-LS^2

These ladies...

...just...

 ...kept...

...following me!

Chicken soaking in sweet chocolate red wine.

The swill was unfit to drink and not much better to eat.

I participated the shit outta this thing.

This is absolutely why people hate America(ns).

Bowli Graffo

Don't worry.  I just ordered some pens online.

-LS^2

Buffy Riley had a vibrator.