My Own Desk

I'm not dead, and I haven't forgotten you.  I simply haven't cared for a while.  While I do hope you'll forgive me, chances are I'll never know.

Alex is behind me talkin' sexy.

That is all for now.

-LS^2

A little o' this,
and a lot o' this. 

The Patron Bagel Saint of Downtown LA.

Lex.

Ursula Plex's funeral.

Hey Suckas!

Hey Suckas!  Monthly updates simply won't do, so I'll quit being so absent.

No.  No I won't.

I'm going hiking with Evie in a few minutes.  She's the only person I ever really call up to hang with.  Except for Ryan.  But he's always workin' or walkin' his fuckin' dog.

I kissed a wounded dog on the leg lips last night.

I'm hungry.  And I want coffee.

I'm wearing a sleeveless shirt because being abroad changes a man.

I'm poor as dirt.  I'm Poor Boy.

That's it for now.

Amanda Bynes,
-LS^2

My Level 2 class.

These Japs love their Krispy Kreme.

Why does anybody love Krispy Kreme?

Taipei 101 from Elephant Mountain.

Centered pictures are boring.

Jeremy Lin visited our school!

RIP Lennis

On Thursday, Lennis Moore passed away.  Catie told me before classes on Friday, but I had heard many updates from my Mother, who was living with Lennis and his family for the last few months.  My mother's relationship to that family warmed my heart, but nowhere near as much as it warmed theirs.  Gin and Tonics 'til the sheriff cuts you off at that place, right there on the porch.  Such a beautiful home, such a beautiful welcoming spirit.  Sandy was my 8th grade English teacher, and about 9 years ago, she too was diagnosed with a brain tumor.  She lost a lot of her faculties, but still had a gorgeous and boisterous soul.  Lennis was patient and loving with her, and together those three were a damn good time and a damn perfect match.

I'll miss you, Lennis.  You made life a fucking riot and history lesson all at the same time, and I'll never hold a candle to you in that respect.  You're a wonderful man and it's a shame we won't be able to volley words and hugs next time I'm in Iowa.

May you be feeling the light somewhere,
Lucas

J5 Collective

My computer has finally stopped accepting my iPod (among other maladies of an aging idiot box).  Luckily, I was able to get one last file transfer in there before they stopped talking: Jurassic 5's Feedback from 2006.  Unfortunately, What's Golden is on Power in Numbers, so I don't get that gem.  But still, it's okay.  I've been running along the riverbank this week in an attempt to find motivation in myself.  J5 is pretty dope.  No violence, no drugs ruling their lyrics.  Just hyping themselves as the best MCs in history.  Lotta clout to that claim, really...

I've realized that in the last 5 years or so, I haven't really put myself out there and made any attempt to make my life better.  I mean, I went to Korea.  Then I went to Taiwan.  But those experiences did not burrow into my brain the way I hoped they would.  They did in other ways, though.  So I guess that's how life goes, right?  You have a plan, but reality/fate/destiny plays itself out the way it will and the way you will it.  But I know it's time to change course again.  So I will.  Very soon.  Today, in fact.  Right now.  In a minute.  Or tomorrow.  Around July for sure.  Definitely before I'm 40.

I've been playing pool a lot more lately.  Jumping at the chance.  The pool halls around here are kept up really nice and generally have a pretty good price.  Plus you can bring drinks in there.  The Taiwanese play a different style, much like a solo scrimmage where they just knock in whatever they can and he who knocks in the most wins.  I guess that's okay, but what I hate is their break.  They tap it lightly, hoping to only hit one ball off the corner.  What the fuck is this, you twat?  You look like you're cheating.  Whether you are or not, I'm gonna bum your cigarettes and whoop your booty.  Or lose.  But either way, can I get one of your smokes?

If I cut out drinking, smoking and masturbation, my IQ would elevate 40 points in the first week.  Add a regiment of exercise and language acquisition, I'd almost be as handy as the students I teach.

I have to let go of my financial hangups.  I think growing up with money and then having the majority of it disappear has instilled in me a sense that "Oooh, you better save up when you can!"  That's not a bad way to be, but it does contradict some of the ideals of the artists' way, right?  Go for broke?  Well, I'm there.  Aint no 'goin'.'  ← that looks weird, right?

There are cockroaches in my kitchen.  Great.

I'm a journal connoisseur.  What's the difference between "connoisseur" and "snob?"  Anything?

I really don't care to write any more.

-LS^2

"Dude lives in Australia..."

"...flew across the country and

showed up on my doorstep..."

"...punched me in the mutha fuckin' chin..."

"...begged me to--are you recording this?"

 

"Oh." 

5 fucking strikes in a row.

I told these dudes riddles until

I ran out of riddles.  They were

pretty good riddle dudes, too.

Sage advice.

 

Zooey.

Christopher Columbus

It's Friday morning, which is almost the best morning there is.  Saturday is probably the best morning, and Sunday is a close follower, but I've always been drawn to Friday.  The mood surrounding is the mood of approaching freedom, much the same as the mood of Sunday is the mood of approaching servitude.  This is a clear indication that I do not find myself living in the moment the majority of the time.  In this sense, I'd rather be promised a vacation than actually take one.  Much in the same way that my favorite part of a meal is not actually eating it but the moment it's set down in front of me-knowing that I have this entire meal before me.  Then I eat it as fast as possible.  Or I sleep in on Saturday.  I waste the prize because I already got what I came for: the dream of it's potential.

Tonight I will not go swing dancing.  I had a blast last time, but I believe I will have to make this a cost-free weekend as much as possible.  Drinks are paid for Saturday night, courtesy of a ""teacher's meeting.""  The double-quotes are to remark my thoughts on the situation as well as my boss' insistance on putting the air bunnies around the term every time he brings it up.  I wonder what his game here is...

As I read the blogs of friends, enemies and frenemies, I see that mine is rather trite.  It's basically my Journal but in a more cohesive order and lacking most of the spray glue and crude erotic finger paintings.  I'm not dousing you with any knowledge on history or current events.  My take on the surreality of living abroad in no way dips into a larger consciousness and pulls out what you never knew was there.  But if you were wondering what I had dreams about last night, this is the place to find it (country roads, meth and swimming with my niece as a baby).

My ears aren't popping like they should and it's driving me crazy.  God damn it, man.

Okay, people are here and I wanna see 'em.  Love life, Babies.  Kiss kiss.

-LS^2

 

That's how you J wrench!

I saw an old man fondling another

old man at this temple while his other

old man friend kept inefficient watch.

"...neither slaves nor fools!"

It all comes back to pi.

The anguish of the 2/28 Memorial.

How I will definitely be signing

my name from now on.

Celebrity Status

I've done a movie with Corey Feldman and Michael Madsen.  I've worked security for Robert Englund and Dee Snyder.  I prank called Malcolm McDowell.  But Babies, I've never met a'one of 'em.

Infamous,
-LS^2

Dr. Goofus and Mr. Gallant

Goofus orders by pointing at the menu, not knowing whether it is a noodle dish or a side of lard.
Gallant studies the language before he moves to the country.
Goofus shrugs before the end of a sentence from a patient soup cart owner.
Gallant studies the language before he moves to the country.
Goofus lets the air conditioner blow his napkins and spoon across the modest eatery, chasing them down bent over at the waist.
Gallant weighs them down with his cup of water.
Goofus spills his entire bowl of maple noodles all over his lap before he gets to his first bite.
Gallant has actually eaten in public before and avoids such a pitfall.
Goofus looks like he pissed his pants.
Gallant doesn't.
Goofus asks where the bathroom is by pointing to his crotch.
Gallant studies the language before he moves to the country.
Goofus takes the simple directions but somehow ends up in the storage closet, assuming this is what he was told to do.
Gallant isn't a fucking moron.
Goofus opens the store supply of paper towels and sweats as he dries the stain off his pants.
Gallant doesn't have to.  He's paid and left already, embarrassed for Goofus.
Goofus is told in a language he doesn't understand something likely along the lines of "Jesus, dude, why are you even here?"
Gallant knows why he is here.  Gallant knows why he is everywhere.  Gallant is wonderful.
Goofus fucked up.
Gallant didn't.
They no longer hang out.

This story, if it isn't already painfully obvious, has autobiographical undertones.  But you can't make an omelet without braking a few eggs and spilling them on your dick.  My efforts to flow outside my comfort zone certainly do take me there, and sometimes I look studly.  More often, however, I look like a helpless infant with the build of an adult but severely compromised social and motor skills.  But whatever.  It's all part of the game.  We're all part of the gears.  But it would have been a good idea to study the language before I moved to the country.  But it's all Chinese!  That's not easy to learn, especially if you're only fleeing to the country as a temporary self-centered refugee.

It's Friday, Babies, and I only like the weekends.  Tonight I'm taking a slam dancing class.  Or...swing dancing.  I don't know, whichever one my roommate teaches before the professional swing dancing session.  Writing it out, I'm almost positive it's slam dancing now.

My job is too much work, but I negotiated for a severely truncated contract.  It ends on July 23.  At that time, I will be able to assess my future, which hopefully I'd've spent some time doing along the way.

Saturday I go hiking with someone.  Or no one.  I don't know.  But I'm going hiking for sure.  Sunday I'm playing pool with Viggy.  She's wrapped up in the moral-high-road side of a conflict at her school regarding 6-year-old expired salt and a secret passageway leading to a hidden wooden shack acting as an illegal classroom.  I can't wait to hear the details.  She also plays bad ass bass and gives me cigarettes.

Okay, people are laughing around me.  I have to tear away from the written word and get into the swing.

Learn the language, whatever it may be.

-LS^2

I puked out this fire.

Diego aint havin' it.

The famous Fulong Beach sunset.

Also Fulong Beach, but in landscape.

I witnessed a marriage proposal between whales.

Remy is a self-professed narcissist,

Stephen didn't bring his guitar,

Kelsey bought expensive tea.

There's gotta be a joke here...

My roomie Martusha and a Portuguese girl.

I drew this dude.

The cat and the window.

From One J to Another

And another one comes and goes...

September 17, 2013 @ 12:43pm in Jeomchon, South Korea
to
April 7, 2014 @ 9:11pm in Taipei, Taiwan

'Twas a good one.  Here's to another, baby!

-LS^2

PS I'd be an asshole not to give thanks to Mallams.  For everything.  So I do.

Suicide is Painless (M*A*S*H Theme)

I love you Marco.

-LS^2

 

 Suicide is Painless (M*A*S*H Theme)

Through early morning fog I see
Visions of the things to be
The pains that are withheld for me
I realize and I can see

That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please

I try to find a way to make
All our little joys relate
Without that ever-present hate
But now I know that it's too late, and

That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please

The game of life is hard to play
I'm gonna lose it anyway
The losing card I'll someday lay
So this is all I have to say

That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please

The only way to win is cheat
And lay it down before I'm beat
And to another give my seat
For that's the only painless feat

That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please

The sword of time will pierce our skins
It doesn't hurt when it begins
But as it works its way on in
The pain grows stronger watch it grin, but

That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please

A brave man once requested me
To answer questions that are key
Is it to be or not to be
And I replied 'Oh, why ask me?'

That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please

'Cause suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please

And you can do the same thing if you please

Nah, nuthin'

Zero to say in a public forum.  I'm hungry despite having recently eating the last egg.  I'm itchy on account of the beard I've let build.  Things are fine.  I tried to make a big decision today, but mitigating factors got in the way and while I still made a decision, it's not the one I hope for.  But I think my integrity will stay intact.  Speaking of questionable integrity, I could go for a burger right now.  At 11pm.  After this beer.  I'm an Adonis.  Bow to me, you foolish mortals.

Whenever people are crowded around a computer YouTube Video Battling, I try to remove myself, but not too far away.  I can't think of a good one to share, and I sure as hell don't want to watch the one you show me.  Fuck no.  Unless I'm crushing on you.  Then I'll watch whatever bullshit you put in front of me.  It could be Jamie Kennedy coughing for 8 minutes.  If you're Soulmate material, I'm all in.

All in.

All in,
-LS^2

Say Cheese and Die! © R.L. Stine, all rights reverberated

Droves

Good god damn, there were a lot of people in the streets of Taipei on Sunday.  Estimates are in the strikingly wide scope of anywhere between 100,000-700,000.  This is really unacceptable as it shows absolutely no capacity for guesstimations by either party.  Or just one party.  I dunno.  But here are some pictures for you, and may God have mercy on the blister you got on your lip while eating a cordon bleu chicken sandwich on Sunday.

In lighter news, I drank wine with Mandy and Co. on Saturday night in Da'an Park and then threw up.  It was lovely.

-LS^2

Look at all those black shirts...

I said...

...look at 'em!

These guys are lookin'.

This dude's just standin', but he's lookin...

Look, Miss, you're gonna have to move.

There, look at them.

Everyone's lookin'...

Look at me down here!

No one was lookin' at me.

He's lookin' at someone else.

That girl's lookin' at me.

Look.

Look at this dude.

Look how crazy the bus station was

(actually, you can't really tell here).

Threadin' the needle.  Just look at that sunset...

Look, my front door!

Look at this, though...

And finally, look at Melissa praising my brother 14 years ago.

Marco Salazar for life!